If this sounds more like common sense instead of a paradox, more the reason to read on.
The first blush reaction of someone familiar with basic economics to reading this statement is “Duh! That’s the same as diminishing marginal utility”.
Think again.
A well-known fact, as humans, we have a very strong scarcity bias (a cognitive bias) that leads us to believe that things that are scarce and limited are valuable and things that are easily available and abundant are not. Needless to say, this works against the idea of gratitude.
Even certain personality traits make us stand very far from practising thankfulness for the little things in life. For instance, materialism is antithetical to gratitude because it focuses’ on the ‘lack’… of the things and experiences we do not have. These traits make us adopt a forever ‘seeking’ position where we are constantly pursuing something while simultaneously telling ourselves that this is what we will need to be happy. Cynicism leads us to believe that being grateful will somehow diminish our ambition.
Research has shown that genes have a role to play and might help to answer the question of why some people find it easier to be in touch with gratitude than others.
However, gratitude and appreciation aren’t purely hardwired either and can be cultivated with some effort. We all have a basic understanding of what gratitude is but it can be difficult to define. Is it a virtue? A mood? An emotion? A way of living? It can be one or all of these because gratitude may carry different meanings for different people. But what we can all agree upon is that it is a feeling that makes us deeply acknowledge the positive outcomes of people, things and experiences around us. It is important to note that gratitude does not distinguish between the degree of the magnificence of these factors. Someone who practices expressing gratitude in everyday life will be thankful for a juicy apple, an evening walk, a date with someone they like, pancakes, a promotion at work, and healthy skin.
It takes work though – many who are unable to find joy in a banana envy the ones who do.
Expressing gratitude for everything in your life doesn’t have to feel like a chore. And if it is, you’re probably doing it wrong. Gratitude is supposed to be a naturally rewarding process that enhances your well-being, boosts your optimism levels, and generally makes you look at life with a lens that is positive. Scientific research in this direction confirms that there’s also a strong link between gratitude and prosocial behaviour meaning that it makes people more thoughtful about others, have more fulfilling romantic relationships, and be more compassionate in workplaces.
If you look at gratitude as a state, it will become clear that it is something that is just there. An internal response that you build and consciously sustain.
Also, being thankful does not mean that this practice acts as an inhibitor of growth and ambition. If done pragmatically, gratitude simply acts as an anchor on days you might not be feeling your best.
Consider this: someone was dismissive about the inputs you worked on throughout the weekend. You unconsciously and momentarily attached your self-worth to this situation. But if you are a generally grateful person, you are more likely to go home, pat yourself on the back for being resilient, consider it as criticism of the inputs rather than the self, acknowledge your privilege of having a job and sit down to have dinner that you’re always thankful for.
Recently, Patti Smith, an American singer-songwriter famous for being an important influence in the punk rock movement, was asked what brings her joy.
She said, “…Another day, I’m still here. A chance to do something useful read a book, see a film, see my kids. I just saw The Power of the Dog – such a great movie – and The Batman. I just made myself peanut butter toast and black coffee, one of my father’s favourite things, and I suddenly had such a sense of him. I experience joy very easily.”